SUBTLE IS THE NEW BLUNT

I'm biracial. Black + white.

Here's my experience with racism:

I don't believe in the race card. Every time someone mistreats me it's not because of my skin. But it's distinguishable and I know when the injustice of racism is happening because of the several accounts of racism I've known and felt from my personal experience.

The thing to realize and know is that racism isn't summed up by just people being involved in the KKK, or the fear of black people and predominantly black neighborhoods, or stereotypes and prejudices, or saying the n-word, or not being associated with "those kind of people", the examples can go on.

But the thing to know is racism is a complexity of feelings, intentions, physical gestures, exclusion that may or may not be purposeful. It's a deep root in the heart-- an oblivious action caused by what people have been told or how they have been raised. A subtle gesture, or remark, or motive in the back of one's mind--the motive they think no one sees.

Recently, I've been playing soccer again. And once again, I'm the only black person on my team. I remember being in high school and experiencing different things in sports regarding racism and politics. It could be not getting played for no reason or being fouled in soccer for the same exact foul a girl played before me or particular refs keep calling me or giving me yellow cards. Now, I admit, I stand out on a soccer field. I usually am the tallest, I usually have a high-bun, and I'm 95% of the time the only black player. So for refs to notice my every move is completely valid. But I had a recent experience where I felt the injustice of racism in sports. And it broke my heart--especially when I said something aloud. Another person said, "no, that's not why."

That hurt me even more because I said something and then my feelings of oppression were rejected.

My experience may not be your experience or even be truth or real to you. But my experience, my feelings, and my life is true and real to me.

My experience in the practical:

- disqualification from authority (worldly bosses, non-christian coaches, teachers)

- people ignoring me / dehumanization (throwing change on the counter instead of putting into my hand)

- when face-to-face with me, they don't speak or say the very least like "yes" and "no"

- don't speak to me, but speak to the people with me or around me

- on sports teams-- not being put in the game or mistreated constantly being the only player who "fouls"

- in the classroom, getting an undeserved bad grade

Hear me. Not every person who mistreats me or is rude to me is racist towards me. There simply are just people who lack kindness. But from my experience, racism is easily distinguishable to me. I want awareness towards racism to arise. In order for the evil act of racism to be gone--every aspect needs to be addressed.

Even the subtle, un-intentional ones.

My experience with subtle racism has made it become extremely blunt to me. The Bible has taught me a lot about racism, actually. One of the key things I always remember is Proverbs 2: 1-11.

Wisdom, knowledge, and ignorance.

Ignorance is simply "the lack of knowledge or information". And so to be ignorant to racism is lacking knowledge of what it is. To be ignorant to habits and behaviors is not having wisdom to know what is right and fair. When it comes to racism, I believe that where wisdom + knowledge lack, ignorance is the byproduct.

Proverbs 2 : 1-11

My child, listen to what I say,

and treasure my commands.

Tune your ears to wisdom,

and concentrate on understanding.

Cry out for insight,

and ask for understanding.

Search for them as you would for silver;

seek them like hidden treasures.

Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord,

and you will gain knowledge of God.

For the Lord grants wisdom!

From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.

He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.

He guards the paths of the just

and protects those who are faithful to him.

Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair,

and you will find the right way to go.

For wisdom will enter your heart,

and knowledge will fill you with joy.

Wise choices will watch over you.

Understanding will keep you safe.

Thanks for hearing me.

This is living.